Should You Write Scary Stories for Children?
by Hillary Homzie
Some children enjoy scary things and go through a phase of playing “boo!” or pretending that they are monsters. Others shrink from any kind of scary play. Nevertheless, at some point, parents will be faced with the question, should I tell scary stories? I’m going to share three main points to consider when it comes to sharing scary stories with kids.
1. Don’t be alarmed if your children ask for stories with dark elements.
Often pre-school and primary school-aged children will be attracted to scary elements, such as monsters and witches in their play and stories. Renowned child psychologist Bruno Bettelheim has suggested that children look for a safe way to work out fears through stories. In Uses of Enchantment: The Meanings and importance of Fairy Tales, he argues that children should be exposed to tales, such as those collected by the Brother’s Grimm because it allows for them to deal with their fears, in a safe and symbolic way. For example, in Hansel and Gretel, children can tame their fears of abandonment and having to fend for themselves. So, the message is don’t be afraid of your child’s fears. In fact, help them to embrace their fears and work through them through story!
2) Before telling a scary story, wait for your child’s cues.
According to Napa Valley Nursery School Director Lori Ware, who has received a Lifetime Achievement award from the California Council of Parent Participation Nursery Schools for her master teaching, when it comes to scariness, it’s important to follow a child’s lead. “If kids are talking about scary figures in their artwork and in their play, I introduce scary stories to demystify this for them,” says Lori. For example, if the children are chatting about Dracula, she might tell a story or pick a book to share during with a vampire in it. And then she would ask the children, is Dracula real? However, Lori points out she would only bring up Dracula, if the children were bringing him up. And this would go for any potentially scary creature, such as bears and tigers.
3) When you tell a scary story, empower your child with words to help them feel safe.
As children reach four or five years of age, they often grapple with more worldly fears, and some will playact being a super hero in order to protect themselves from perceived scary things. If this is the case with your child, you might consider telling stories or choosing books with superheroes or brave heroines of your choosing. When you tell the story, you may cast your child in the role of the hero. You can also arm your child with words, that will make the “bad guy” go away, and bring them to the safety of their home.
In the final analysis, it’s a very individual decision whether you want to bring in scary elements into stories. Only you know what issues your child is dealing with, and whether hearing about scary elements before going to bed will bring on nightmares, or whether it will help them work out worries, and release anxieties. But the big message I want to leave you with–is that scary stories are nothing to be scared of!
Hillary Homzie
Author, Things are Gonna’ Get Ugly (S&S Aladdin Mix)
Author, Alien Clones from Outer Space series (S&S Aladdin)
Author, The Hot List (S&S Aladdin Mix, forthcoming)
Associate Visiting Professor, Hollins University Graduate Program in Children’s Writing and Literature
