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Dating, Love and Sleep: They Do Go Together

What on Earth does sleep have to do with your love life?  Quite a bit, actually.  In fact, they go together like PB&J!  With Valentine’s Day almost upon us, SleepBetter is turning its thoughts toward love.  The recent My Sleepy Valentine Survey addressed the issue, finding that more than 80% of us believe good sleep is better for a relationship.

So, why are singles today having so much trouble finding “the one”?  IS it a lack of sleep? The Dating Doctor, David Coleman, who was the inspiration for Will Smith’s character in the movie “Hitch”, gave us the following tips on love and sleep:

1) People aren’t getting a good night’s sleep!  Be it the stress of work, watching taped or TIVO’d television shows or movies, dabbling on line on Facebook or another social networking site, people are simply not getting enough sleep. Thus, they appear tired, puffy, deflated and are not attracting the type of person they desire or being considered attractive by those whom they desire to date.

A good night’s sleep can help you avoid “The Yawn of Death!” when meeting someone new or navigating a first date.  When you yawn in another person’s presence, no matter how hard you try to “explain it away,” it will appear as if you are “bored with them” or “simply a boring person” yourself.  The better your night’s sleep the day before your date….the better your chances the night of your date!

2) Speaking of getting enough sleep, While dating on line, people stay up late because they waste time with the “Proximity Error” and the “Bigger Better Deal Syndrome!”

Proximity error occurs when people are given too many choices on their computer screen of “potential matches” whom might be “ideal” for them.  The error occurs when they pass up a perfectly good match because the person’s picture right next to them on the screen is just a bit more attractive to them for some reason. In life, this would not happen as people don’t line up in rows to have you check them out!

The Bigger Better Deal Syndrome is when you hesitate dating only one person for fear that a better, more attractive candidate or option will appear “right around the corner.”  You’re never satisfied with whom you’re with because you fear that someone else is out there somewhere.

3) They are living a “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy”.  This is whereby people wake up saying, “I’m not good enough, attractive enough, successful enough, I don’t earn enough, drive the right car, wear the right clothes, etc.”  IF YOU FACE ONLY ONE OBSTACLE IN LIFE, BUT YOU DOUBT YOURSELF, YOU’RE ALREADY OUTNUMBERED!”  If you honestly don’t believe that you are the best catch on earth, how can you expect anyone else to believe it?

4) They set their standards so high that no one can reach them! This is called an Intimacy Defense Mechanism.  It appears as if you are trying to find someone, when in fact, you know that no one will ever live up to your expectations and thus you will never have to risk entering into an intimate relationship with another person. You keep friends and family off your back by saying, “I’m trying to find someone, but there is no one decent out there to date,”  when in fact you know that no one is perfect and everyone has faults.  When you are looking for that ONE PERFECT PERSON, you’re living in denial and spinning your wheels to look like you are trying.

You won’t find the right person, until you become the right person. There are people out there who are numb from relationship failure or gun shy from a lack of interest. Thus, they don’t put their best foot forward.  These people need to identify their strengths and maximize them, identify their weaknesses and minimize them and give life their best shot!