Ask Happy Dan: Saving a Marriage With Bedding


When you have questions about pillows and other bedding, Happy Dan the Pillow Man is your guy!  He’s happy because he always gets a good night’s sleep.  Happy Dan is the alter ego of Dan Schecter, Senior Vice President at Carpenter Co., and the creator of  He’s spent 30 years learning about pillows and sleep and how those two items go together, and he’s now available to answer your questions!

In this edition of Ask Happy Dan, Dan gives advice to a man with a marriage bedding problem.

Rafael: My wife prefers a firm bed and I prefer a pillow top bed. The bed she has at the moment is about seven years old (no name brand bedding) and I believe it is on the firm side. I personally find it very uncomfortable however she does not. What type of bedding/mattress would you recommend since we have the complete opposite of preference? Also, how often do mattresses and pillows need to be exchanged for new ones?

Thank you for the question. It is not unusual that one partner finds a different sleep surface better than their partner. This is a tough deal and often is a breeding ground for conflict. You have two options and I will assume you have a king size bed but this will work for a queen as well. You can buy a topper for your half of the bed that offers additional support or softer support depending on your preference. Doing this requires a little handyman work.  Get yourself an electric carving knife and cut the topper to fit your side of the bed. You can always use the knife to cut the turkey next Thanksgiving. The second option is to buy one of the mattresses that has an air bladder that allows one side to be firm and other soft or anywhere in between.

To answer your other questions: A good mattress should last about 10 years, while a pillow should be replaced every year to 18 months.

So says Happy Dan The Pillow (mattress) Man!!

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Note: Some Ask Happy Dan questions may be edited for clarity.